Chapter 4 of 4: The Moments of Intensity and Calm

          Finally, the time has come. Another school year has swiftly gone by. If you would ask me to give you an adjective describing my whole experience this school year, I'd use one word -- challenging. I remember coming into 10th grade saying that I'd make the most of this year, being that it's the last year of junior high school. Turns out, it wouldn't be easy keeping up, and I would be left battling to keep everything in my life stable. And while a wave can be associated with various things around us, one of the most powerful interpretations is that it symbolizes the cycle of life. It is moving forward, fighting the obstacles, and changing its direction along the way. It has its ups and downs and moments of intensity and calm.

          What I didn't realize until much later in life is that I was teaching myself a metaphor for life's challenges. The quiet most dangerous wave is the one that taught me to be on the lookout. You can sense in your gut that it's going to take you down because you can see it coming and it's formation is going to crash in front of you. Once you experience this wave you will never forget what to do next. I remember my chapter 1 of 4, I was too shy to speak as I stepped onto our classroom's freshly waxed wooden floor because I've always been a quiet person ever since the pandemic began. I sat in the empty chair on first row and there it was, the first quarter of our school year has begun. And it taught me that with this wave you must wait until you see the calm right before the break. You then must dive deep into that calm space, and without a doubt you will come out the other side escaping all of the chaos above and around you. 

          One time I took on a most dangerous wave. It was my chapter 2 and 3 of 4, to be honest, it was mostly kind of fun, but I won't deny that it was also quite exhausting. It turned out that I would have a difficult time keeping up and would have to fight to maintain the stability of my life. The wave crashed right over me. It took me down and spun me around. I flipped over and over and over. I came to the point where I truly didn't know which way was up or down. 

          The quite calm wave, I entered this fourth quarter with a sense that whatever happens, I should know that I did my best. Although the amount of schoolwork has been considerable and at times feels overwhelming, I must keep going. I could say that the previous quarters were very draining, but I believe that this last quarter is even more draining. Throughout the entire grading period, there have been competitions after competitions and activities after activities, and it would be understandable to lose a sense of time with every responsibility in front of us. Aside from the load of schoolwork we had to deal with, we had the privilege of competing in competition. From the performance task to an intersection cheerdance competition, it has surely been a pretty hectic ride for all of us. And again, we won. We finally got to enjoy the outcomes of all our toil and effort here. Finally, we had established our worthiness after so many situations that left us seriously doubting ourselves. I was definitely very proud of these accomplishments.   

          And because of that "thing", I found myself walking at the beach, enjoying the moment of calmness. This is where I realized how beautiful the moments given to me this quarter were; that even though some things didn't really go quite as planned, in the end, it still worked out anyway. I had been so hard on myself because I wanted to perform so well this quarter, but my expectations had become unreal because I had been so exhausted throughout the entire grading period. This is the point at which I gave myself permission to take a big breath and reflect on how priceless everything and everyone in my immediate surroundings is, if only I'd allow myself to stop worrying so much.   

          However, like a wave, every life ultimately ends, crashing onto the shore and dissipating into the sand. At this point, I accepted the idea that I could only accomplish so much at once and that what has been accomplished thus far is enough for the time being. It was undeniably a long ride, but at least it was enjoyable this time. Even though I will readily admit that I slacked off a bit in my academic performance this quarter, I am confident that everything will be okay as long as I make sure to pick myself back up the next time with all of my strength. This is the wave where you connect with a force greater than yourself. It is something of beauty; you are drawn to this wave. When this wave starts to form you feel it in your soul. You must swim to this wave, find the calm right in front of it, you turn around, swim on your own until the force syncs with your force.  

          Even though life doesn't currently have a perfectly stable balance, it's enough for me to have gone through some of the most unusual experiences and to have overcome them all as gently as possible over this period of this quarter. Devastation may, in many cases, have become a part of the journey, but this shouldn't stop us from getting back up and trying again. You could be thinking that, given how much schoolwork we already have, it would have been simple to leave my life in the SSC behind... but I'm not really that kind of person, though. I chose this path because I was ambitious and wanted a lot of experience, so I continued and stayed. And now that I will be leaving my life as an SSC student, I can say that I am very proud of myself and I did it again. Remember to never give up, no matter how tough the challenge may seem.

          Life moves too quickly for us to stop and lose all momentum, but we have to realize that there are times when we may also allow ourselves to relax, especially in those times when we most need it. I may not have performed my best this time, but at least I have genuine memories to keep, and new realizations to hold on to. I need to continue and at least complete what I started because I chose to do this and I want to do this. I am proud of myself and all I can say is that; "It was all well, with Maxwell."