What do you want; to be right, to win, or to move forward with peace?

“All meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside and works its way out.” 

     My life has been a difficult, often arduous path of self-discovery. I felt wounded and resentful of others for the most of my life because of the way they treated me.  I used fear to get others to do what I wanted them to do, but people did not always do what I wanted of them, and this disappointed me. 

     "Hey, you don't have to shout at me," My heart nearly exploded, and it was then I knew my life had to change.  

     Change can occasionally be hard to understand and become used to. However, if we want to move forward and evolve, change is important. This is why the phrase "Change, it starts with me" is so effective and timely in reminding us of how change happens gently. The first step towards any change is recognizing that there is a need for it. Knowing one's talents and flaws is important, and one should always work to improve upon them.   

     I had no idea why I felt this way; it was just how I did. Then I understood that I was battling the world and hurting others. I was a terrible friend and a daughter. I was only concerned about myself, and I thought my life was a mess because of other people. I began looking at myself and the part I was playing in my life, and I made some important realizations. I realized that my life needed to change and I realized I had to make these changes. I needed to start taking responsibility for myself and my behaviors and I needed to stop trying to force others to change. 

     After recognizing the need for change, we must take action. This may entail making deliberate changes to our actions, way of life, or interpersonal interactions. This is an important process that requires a lot of patience and persistence. Setting goals and creating an actions plan must come first. Grit, perseverance, and an unflinching dedication to the objective are necessary for this phase.  This not only breaks down the entire process into achievable parts but also instills confidence and motivation. 

     I knew I had to be vulnerable and open to help or I would not grow or get out of this sad life I had created for myself. I knew I had serious childhood issues to deal with, and it was much less painful to just avoid them. 

     We must be equipped to handle the difficulties that arise once the change process has started. There may be setbacks, challenges, and failures that we must get through. To overcome obstacles, it's important to develop resilience and tenacity. Keep in mind that we can only grow and learn through challenges. 

     I needed to forgive them and myself if I wanted to move forward. I told myself they were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. I have dealt and always will deal with my past. It has shaped me into who I am. I now needed to create my future by changing how I showed up in life. I openly spoke about my past with my close friends and my family. I shared, I cried, and I grew. I opened up and allowed myself to feel. I challenged my beliefs that held me trapped in “the way it is.” It was a very freeing experience. 

     I was able to appreciate myself because of my quest toward realizing my inner beauty. I have taken down and continue to take down the boundaries I put up so that my bright light can show. I've changed, and I'm no longer motivated to influence people. Although change can be unsettling, we should not let that stop us from making it. Change won't occur suddenly. Throughout the entire journey, perseverance and arduous efforts are needed. Never underestimate the potential of starting small since modest adjustments can have a big impact.   

     We have the power to change our lives; we do not have the power to change others. When we take this approach, our world is better for it. Remember that the bravest thing you will ever do is learn how to love and accept the things that made you. Be gentle with yourself. You were learning and you still are.